One-way airline: Losing and finding yourself

Life often surprises us with moments of introspection. These moments might come from the most random of activities, like cleaning out an old valise. This story is about such a moment, when I stumbled on old documents that took me on an emotional journey back to my younger self. It's a story on reconnection, reflection and resilience.

It had been years since I opened the small front pocket of my valise. That pocket was reserved for documents I didn't need frequently. One day, needing to use the valise, I emptied it and started going through the documents stored inside. Among them were my highschool reports, some certificates and printed photos from those days, and my university admission letter. These documents were like time capsules, holding pieces of a life I had left behind.

As I went through these memories, I had an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. My mind immediately shifted into the 18-year-old self again. I could feel the excitement, the dreams, and the innocence of childhood. It's crazy how these pieces of papers could tell stories and evoke such strong emotions. They represented a part of my life that I had left behind but was catching up with.

Among these documents was one that made me shed tears instantly- my 2019 one-way ticket to Canada. The sight of that ticket hit me so hard and caught me completely off-guard. Even my mother, who was near, was alarmed by my reaction. That ticket symbolized a turning point in my life, a jump into the unknown. It represented leaving everything I was familiar with behind to venture into a world I had never known.

At almost 19, boarding that plane, I was filled with enthusiasm and a sense of vision and responsibility. I felt like an adult, ready to face the world. Now, as I looked at that ticket four years later, I realized how much I had lost the sweetness, the 'Akanovera' for life. I had been living each day just to get through to the next milestone, my degree, without savoring the journey. What had happened to my enthusiastic, energetic 18-year-old self? I couldn't help but wonder.

Moving abroad at 18 was one of the biggest challenges of my life. I left behind what I had known my whole life. I missed out on milestones, weddings, births, graduations, funerals, everything in my community. The transition was overwhelming. I had learned to manage money, live alone for the first time, and navigate changes in weather- all while balancing a full-time course load. The initial months were particularly tough, dealing with homesickness in the midst of a pandemic. This taught me invaluable lessons on independence and self-reliance.

During this time, I had lost track of my vision and why I was working so hard. There were days when I questioned my decisions and felt disconnected from my purpose. Navigating adulthood was a lonely, confusing period, and I often longed for the energy of my younger self.

However, these experiences also sparked a determination in me. I realized that my struggles were real life experiences that were shaping me into a stronger and more resilient person. I found a renewed sense of purpose, my vision became clearer: to work hard not just for myself but also to make a difference through being raw as much as I could. This commitment gave me the strength to keep going, despite the challenges.

Reflecting on my journey, I've learned the importance of patience and keeping the vision in mind. It is crucial to be kind to self and not give in to the pressures of immediate success. Life is a process, move at your own pace. Having an active action plan is essential but so is listening to your body and mind.

Revisiting those old documents was a beautiful reminder of how far I've come and how much I've grown. The journey from that enthusiastic 18-year-old boarding a plane to the person I am today has been worth it.

To everyone reading this, reflect on your journey. Be thankful for life's valuable lessons, be patient and stay focused. Keep moving forward.

Laurette Irebe